haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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