so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize