yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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