Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
