the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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