I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
