im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
