So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
