How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
