I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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