I'm lost and stupid without you.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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