Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize