Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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