Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.