i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
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Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
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I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .