but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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