Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.