I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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