Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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