I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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