If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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