she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
