fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
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That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
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My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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