you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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