You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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