Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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