After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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