Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Randomize
