This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize