so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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