we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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