So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
