You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
