Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
