hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize