this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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