I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
