I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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