Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Sorry about my life...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
