you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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