I don't remember. Are we still dating?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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