Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
