We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize