After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
