Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
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Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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