Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
