I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
bring money and cleavage
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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