The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
