i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
