can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
