She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
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I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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