please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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