Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just had sex bonerless
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
