I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hippo gnu deer
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize