Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
