I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There r osticjed everywhere
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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