so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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