The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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