The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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