oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
