Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
