Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
