So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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