i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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